Balancing Self-Care and and the Desire to Fix Everything Around Us; Practicing Bound Angle Pose and Making Anadama Bread - May 18 2025
- rockbriarfarm
- 2 minutes ago
- 3 min read
I am a fixer, I think I have said this before. As the eldest child in a family that has had its fair share of dysfunction, I tried hard to be “perfect”. Believe me, I am far from that, but I tried never to give my parents reason to worry about me. I was independent and self sufficient early on, worked hard to be a strong student and later to be successful in my career. Looking back, I think I chose my career path perceiving that it would connote stability and provide financial security versus having a true passion for the work. When friends and family members had challenges, I would offer solutions and often offered to execute the solutions. After my father died in 2017, I took on more tasks for those around me and became somewhat of a enabler along with being a fixer. Truthfully, I often prioritize my family of origin's chaos ahead of my own family (sons and husband). I found myself losing sleep, worrying, being short with, and, often tuning them out as I perseverated on yet another family drama or challenge.
I ultimately came to the realization that I was sacrificing much trying to fix things that I had absolutely no control over. I resumed some therapy, embraced more meditation and committed to taking deep breaths and counting to 3 before I engaged in negative words or texts. I leaned into all aspects of my yoga practice more deeply for support: the asanas, the breath work and meditation. While I realize intellectually that no one can fix another person, when emotions are involved it is hard to always remember that. We can be loving and supportive, but we cannot fix someone that is not ready to make change themselves. We also do not help others by doing for them rather than guiding them to do for themselves. Even more importantly, sometimes people do not need or want a solution, they just want someone to listen.
How does my experience relate to our yoga? Remembering that yoga yokes the body (physical practice), breath (pranayama) and mind (meditation), we embrace our practice as support to our daily life, supporting us in joy and in challenging times. Physical yoga practice helps us build physical strength and flexibility, boost endorphins; a tired body also sleeps better. The meditative aspect of our practice helps us cultivate mindfulness supporting mental clarity and emotional stability. Our breath practice helps us regulate the nervous system, helping calm the mind and promote inner peace. Other aspects of pranayama can provide warmth and energy. For me, the added joy of practicing with my yoga community contributes strongly to my overall wellbeing.
This week I suggest we focus on self-care, cut ourselves some slack and lean on our yoga practice and community to help support this effort. Let's remember that life has no dress rehearsal and that we cannot help others until we help ourselves. For me, this effort is an ongoing work in process….
Meditation on Self Care
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." ~ Reinhold Niebuhr
"Being compassionate to yourself is a very important practice. When you are tired, angry or in despair, you should know how to go back to yourself and take care of your tiredness, your anger and your despair. This is why we practice smiling, mindful walking and breathing, and mindful eating". ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others" ~ Maya Angelou
Our Practice – Calming Supta Baddha Konasana – Reclined Bound Angle Pose
As we focus on self-care and letting go of things we cannot control we can show ourselves some love with this restorative pose. This pose is good for helping us relax, destress and feel better. Hip openers can be associated with releasing stress and bottled-up emotions. This pose helps to improve circulation and stretches the inner thigh and groin area.
Lay down on your yoga mat with a cushion under your head if that feels good.
Bring the soles of your feet together and let your knees bend out to the sides.
Add cushions under the thighs for added support or to make it especially restful.
I love this pose and sometimes use it in savasana.
Nurturing with Food – Anadama Bread
When practicing some self love there there is nothing better than a delicious piece of bread with (vegan) butter! I have been making this bread for many years, first in my bread maker and then with my stand mixer. It is easy, delicious, and just different enough to be wonderful alone or as the basis for a very special sandwich. Enjoy!
See you on the mat!
Namaste,
Julia Anne