While contemplating a blog for this week I was also thinking about my husband’s birthday, prompting me to think about relationships in general. Thinking of Peter evokes words like kind, thoughtful, generous but also words like sometimes moody and short tempered. You might think on his birthday I should simply gush about how great he is and how our almost 30-year marriage has been all rainbows and bliss; this is not a Hallmark movie blog. I have always believed that all strong relationships (spouse, relatives, friends) are a lot of work and to have and maintain these relationships we must commit effort and time. Unlike the Hallmark movie characters, I also recognize that people have both their beauty marks and their warts, we are not sitting around our reclaimed Christmas tree farm after almost losing it to the corporation I previously worked for. My husband is indeed my Prince Charming (but no Christmas tree farmer) and I thank God and all of my higher powers every day that he is in my life. I am, however, realistic and understand that true love requires us to accept the other people in our lives wholly, not just on the good days.
My yoga practice helps me to do this. Through the physical and mental practice, the practice of pranayama (breath work) and meditation, I have learned powerful tools to help control emotional outbursts, knee jerk retorts and have increased my internal fortitude. I have learned to pick my spots, recognizing that sometimes no response is the most powerful retort. I believe that yoga teaches us that when our mind is calm, our speech can be more articulate. I have also learned acceptance. If getting angry over coffee grounds in the sink every morning (true event) gets the same reaction as mean-ish sarcasm about a relative (however true), then the impact of the expressed disappointment is less (read: you are always mad at me!). When we save our expressions of disappointment for times that are more warranted, we are more likely to get a sincere and thoughtful response, one that may develop positive dialogue versus result in constant bickering. Trust me, I often lose this karmic battle, get rattled about the aforementioned coffee grounds, and need to climb back shame faced on my "yogi wagon" and begin again.
Perhaps in my younger days I read too many romance novels. You know, the kind where the boy and girl live happily ever after as in those Hallmark movies I mentioned? I have become much wiser in my older age. I feel like we can celebrate our relationships as we do great vacations; if we were on that fabulous vacation every day, we would not appreciate it. By having realistic expectations of our partners, we also learn how to navigate challenges, recognize what is important and appreciate steadfast consistency through the ups and downs of life. With age comes the wisdom of knowing that every relationship has challenges and the accompanying acceptance of being at peace with that. So when I celebrate with my husband, I celebrate his full self, the one who can be a little cranky and who does not pay appropriate homage to my “list” and the one who has supported me unequivocally for 30 years (when I wanted to buy the condemned house, do yoga teacher training, go to India, travel with my friends regularly, and who devotes hundreds of hours to helping my family). The same one who is an amazing father, dedicated friend and committed volunteer to his community and country. Happy Birthday Pete, the world is a better place with you in it. 🎂🎇🧨
Our Practice – Heart Opening – Ustrasana (Camel Pose)
As I think about the concept of love and relationships this week I think about poses that open our heart chakra to the possibility of love. Love that is celebrated in all of our relationships as well as self love. We know that physically yoga supports a healthy heart. In life, however, hurts, betrayal and other emotional experiences block our hearts-we allow this to avoid additional hurt or pain. This results in the heart chakra, one of the primary energy centers in the body, becoming closed or unbalanced. We then may find it difficult to experience love, compassion, grace. As we work through our physical and mental yoga and meditation practice, we strive to open our heart, balance the heart chakra and be receptive to love and human connections, friendships.
Camel Pose (Ustrasana) is a strong heart opener. Camel stretches the front of the body, particularly the chest, abdomen, quadriceps, and hip flexors. It creates space in the chest/lungs and can increase breathing capacity. I modified instructions I found in a YogaInternational article to align with my learning and teaching:
To Practice:
Begin in a high kneeling position with your thighs parallel to each other and your hands on your lower back (fingers up or down). Tuck your toes under (later you can try with tops of the feet flat).
Lift up out of your belly and waist to lengthen your spine. As you move into the backbend, lead with your chest and let your head follow (think rainbow versus leaning back). Try not to toss your head back but also avoid tucking chin or not moving your head at all. Initiate the backbend with your chest, and move the back of your head back (not the crown) to keep length in the back of your neck. This could be enough, hold for several breaths.
If you want to take it a little further, you can reach one hand or both hands back towards your heels. Press pelvis forward thinking about the rainbow image or backbending over a huge exercise ball as you lead with your chest and move the back of your head back to follow. When you're ready to come up out of the pose, lead with your chest, pressing your hands at the lower back to support. Head comes up last.
Meditation – Love and Our Practice
“Learning how to love is the goal and the purpose of spiritual life–not learning how to develop psychic powers, not learning how to bow, chant, do yoga, or even meditate, but learning to love. Love is the truth. Love is the light.” Lama Surya Das
I really love this poem which is love affirming and is relatable to all love in our life and it being entwined with our practice.
One Love
By Jana Dvorska, from The Poetry of Yoga, Volume 1
Come into the light
Hold each other’s hearts
Keep a tranquil mind
Full of hope and serenity
Believe anything is possible
Imagine yourself where you want to be
It will become reality
Limitless imagination will change the world
Set your intention and accomplish
Believe it and you will live it
Come together
Unite as one love
The universe is infinite unity
Universal is love
Be love
Feel love within your entire being
Let it radiate out into the world
Touch everyone you meet with your light and love
Nurturing With Food - Strawberry Rhubarb Pie
As we often do in June, Peter and I went strawberry picking last month. While at the farm I bought some rhubarb and made a strawberry rhubarb pie. I am proud of my pies; it was my first-time using rhubarb. While I knew about Pete’s love for all things strawberry, I wondered about the rhubarb thing since it is not everyone’s favorite. He devoured it and also told me it was his favorite kind of pie, proving that no matter how long you are married there are still things you do not know about each other! The pie was really good and in honor of Pete’s day I repeat it again despite its recent posting!
See your on the mat!
Namaste,
Julia Anne
Namaste Peter and Julia.
Happy Birthday to my special neighbor. I really hit the jackpot when you guys bought the “condemned” house. When I saw the condemned note on the door and told my kids, they wanted me to buy it! A B&B was what they said I needed Having just retired, that was the very last thing I needed! I could never have resurrected the house as you did. I remember a young woman looking out the top floor window with blood streaming down her face while working to on the house!
This note started out to wish Peter a very Happy Birthday. I rambled!
Love the coffee grounds in the sink bit. 😂 But, truly, Pete is a really good egg! 💕