Honoring My Mom And All Mothers Through Mindful Actions, Words and Our Yoga Practice

I had another blog written this week until I started thinking about Mother’s Day, yoga and my mom. She turns 93 this June and her dementia has increased quite a bit in recent months. While it is hard not to focus on where she is today as it becomes more challenging, I spent some time thinking about her long life and all that she has contributed both to our family and the community. I think that as our parents get older we get so caught up in the day to day, we may lose sight of the joys that still can be found amidst the challenges.

As mom needs more care to stay in her home (her adamant wish), we focus on the mechanics of meals, safety, and personal care. While we are lucky to have great helpers, I am trying to keep my relationship with my mother as a daughter and friend, not as a caregiver. I want my time with her to include doing things together that we have always enjoyed that she is still able to do. While we no longer play tennis, jog or take trips far away, I encourage her to read and bring her books that I have enjoyed.   As she is having trouble following them, I pick them carefully. My mom was an English literature professor, so keeping her interested in reading resonates with me. We go out for coffee, get our nails done or go to the thrift stores. While she is becoming unsteady, her favorite things include walking and gardening. So, trips to the garden store are on our list as well as walks on the bike path.

As mom ages and becomes increasingly forgetful, she also has trouble with word retrieval. I am working hard to remind myself to take a deep breath and give her the respect (and time to remember) that she deserves. I speak to her about books and things happening in my life and the world. Rather than correct her, I just try to listen carefully and find commonality and threads of what she intends. While it is frustrating, I remind myself how it must be for her, no one intentionally doesn’t remember something.

In our practice we often discuss leaning on our yoga during challenging times. We can use our practice when we find ourselves being impatient or frustrated with those around us. Here is where our breath work can help! Taking some nice deep inhales and exhales when we get impatient is always a great tool. When we do this, not only does it calm our nervous system, but it also gives us those moments to pause and remember how insignificant this frustration truly is. Moving our body, clearing our mind, all of this helps to balance our feelings, boost endorphins, bring us some joy. Sense of humor helps as well!

In recent weeks I have been talking about my time in Alabama and have been reading more about the civil rights movement. Throughout my whole life my parents were both very socially active, always working on causes that they felt were important. My sister used to make their signs in the basement, she is the artistic one! Mom is still passionate about politics and is an activist at heart; she has even attended several rallies over the past year. She is a deeply committed Catholic and, in her confusion, almost every day worries about not waking up the next day (always Sunday) for church!  

Mom Marching October

So, as we celebrate moms this Mother's Day, I want to focus on the long, amazing life that she is leading. I want to express my gratitude for all that she has taught me; care she has given me and values she has instilled. She has taught me well by fostering the love of reading, gardening and walking but most importantly, my religious foundation and commitment to social justice. I will continue to find ways to celebrate what she can do, and ways to find joy in the times we are together.

This week I encourage all yogis to lean into our yoga practice, reflecting with gratitude on the lessons our mothers (or other mentors) have shared with us and how they helped us become who we are today. As we move into our day, putting our best self forward, we can share with our own children, relatives and friends, some of this bounty.

Our Practice – Setting Intentions - Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose)

As I thank my mom and moms everywhere this week, we will incorporate poses that invoke gratitude into our practices.  Perhaps when we set our intentions we can focus on gratitude and express them  with heart openers. Intention setting can be very helpful in deepening our yoga practice. 

Yoga poses that can help us invoke gratitude are ones that activate and open our heart and throat chakras, usually upper body opening and back bends.  These poses, like cobra, can help relieve stiffness and tension in our back, improve circulation, elevate our mood and reduce fatigue.  In practice this week we will try several versions of cobra.

Meditating on Gratitude For All Mothers

As we move our practice off the mat, let’s take some time this week to think about those people in our lives, our mothers or others who have led by example, helping us positively become the people we are today.

“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow." – Maya Angelou

“I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars." – E. M. Forster

“When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." – Erma Bombeck

See you on the mat!

Namaste,

Julia Anne