Cultivating Lasting Friendships Through Yoga Practice and Teachings; Making Raspberry Squares October 26 2025
- rockbriarfarm
- Oct 25
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 26
Just back from a week in Utah at Dorothy’s house; several of us went out to watch Paula play in a softball tournament and spend time together in the beautiful outdoors. It was a lovely week filled with laughter, lovely walks, some delicious food and a cocktail or two.
Since the trip I have been reflecting on what my yoga studies have taught me about friendship and how my practice relates to these relationships.
Yoga is not a team sport, yes there is exercise involved, but it is not a competition (or at least it shouldn’t be) and there are no prizes given at the end of class. While yoga does strengthen our muscles and provides good physical health benefits, it also teaches us self-reliance. While we benefit from the shared energy of our fellow classmates it is truly a solo experience once on the mat. We call on our own reserves of energy, to find the physicality, focus, and peace in our practice on the mat; off the mat we draw on these reserves as we try to live our yoga in our every day. In developing the self-reliance that yoga teaches us, we bring strength and confidence to our relationships, helping us to be less needy and helping us be strong, supportive friends.
In my own life I have gone through periods where I lacked confidence, and I continue to have periods of emotional neediness. My yoga practice continues to bolster me in my journey to become stronger and true to who I am at the core, I believe it also helps me be a better friend. My yoga practice has taught me to not feel competitive with my friends but to celebrate their talents, treasure and abilities, and to accept my own with grace.
In thinking of friendships, I think of the first of the yamas, ahimsa or nonviolence. This fundamental guidepost of yoga teaches us to be kinder, less aggressive and perhaps a bit more thoughtful. While my adherence to this guidepost finds me carrying spiders outdoors rather than squashing them, it also has helped me think about being kinder, less aggressive and more thoughtful in my interactions. I have found that while I cannot control what others do or say, I can indeed control how I react. I react less often with anger or sharp words and more often with a deep breath, softer voice or even silence. This does not mean I do not speak up when I feel it is necessary or important; I just try to do so in a quieter way. I have found that this approach is more effective in promoting kind interactions. Yes, it is a work-in-process, a practice.
In my lifetime I have been at times less than a yogic friend (petty, short, selfish and self-absorbed). I have in turn, been on the receiving end of this behavior. Learning from these experiences, acknowledging and understanding the damage they cause can result in cultivating deeper, more meaningful friendships.
Sometimes we may find ourselves in relationships that do not embody the true essence of yogic centered friendships. Yogic centered, to me, means friendships that are nurtured by the principles that I try to live my life both on and off the mat. For some of us this could be religious beliefs, for others it could be another higher power; for me it is what I think of as my moral compass which has been influenced by my religious beliefs, family and my yogic studies.
True friendship is beneficial to our wellbeing and requires a rigorous commitment to being accretive to our friends’ wellbeing in return! Strong friendships are there when the going gets tough and always honor a commitment or promise. These friendships are highlighted by fun and joyful times, but when they are steadfastly present when the going gets tough – this is what resonates with the soul. These friendships are not boastful or prideful, yet they celebrate milestones and successes in one another’s lives. People we can call true friends are content to be together in silence, however, will engage in deep, honest and thoughtful dialogue when necessary. Recognizing the work involved, a true friendship also can weather mistakes or hardships; it gracefully accepts honesty and apologies.
So, this week let’s think about celebrating our deepest friendships with reverence and appreciation, working hard to live our practice of ahimsa, self-reliance, acceptance and grace, on and off the mat.
Our Practice – Heart Opening For Friendship
When we talk about friendship in yoga speak, we think of the heart chakra. We know that our physical yoga practice supports a healthy heart. In life, however, hurts, betrayal and other emotional experiences block our hearts, doing so prevents us from feeling additional hurt or pain. This results in the heart chakra, one of the primary energy centers in the body, becoming closed or unbalanced. We then may find it difficult to experience love, compassion, grace. Physical ailments can also develop. As we work through our physical and mental yoga and meditation practice, we strive to open our heart, balance the heart chakra and be receptive to love and human connections, friendships.
There are many yoga poses which encourage the heart opening, balance the heart chakra, and release tension including back bends like camel, bridge, and fish. Anjaneyasana (low lunge) with gentle back bend, arms in cactus is one of them.
The pose honors the monkey god Hanuman using his mother’s name, Anjani. Lord Hanuman is a central part of Hindu devotional worship, believed to be an incarnation of Lord Shiva. The pose resembles a young, divine child (Anjaneya), reaching towards the sky and the warmth of the sun.
Starting in downward dog, inhale. As you exhale, step your right foot forward, between your hands.
Lower your left knee to the floor, sliding the foot back until you feel a nice stretch in the left hip and thigh. Keep the hips low and level with each other.
As you inhale, engage your lower belly and lift your chest away from the thigh, sweeping the arms up alongside your ears.
Come into a gentle backbend lifting your chest toward the sky, arms over head or in cactus.
As you exhale, lower your hands back down and step back to Downward Facing Dog.
Meditation on Friendship
“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered."
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you.” ~ A.A. Milne
Nurturing with Food – Raspberry Squares
I first discovered these with Dorothy when Pat and I visited her probably over 35 years ago. We went skiing at Alta, I was a basic skier, Dot was good and Pat have never skied before (or possibly only on the hill at Yawgoo when we were kids). As Pat flew down the hill, she yelled back, you guys forgot to tell me how to stop! They served these delicious squares in the lodge and I feel the urge to make them when we are in Utah. Deb calls them Raspberry Cubes, not squares, guess its all in how you cut them up!
See you on the mat!
Namaste,
Julia Anne
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